Closing Time

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

~Semisonic

Today marked my last day at ConAgra Foods.  I don't know if it was also my last day of my career in the food industry or just a "pause" button, but it was a bittersweet roller coaster of emotions to say the least.  I have no doubts about my decision to stay home with the baby, but leaving a job, career, and an industry that I've mostly loved proved harder than expected.  By the end of the day, as I was close to the last person to leave the office, my former coworkers were basically saying

You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

So as an ode to my time in the Consumer Packaged Goods industry, here are some of the most interesting notes from the past 10 years of my life:

I've watched the politics of the Ivory Coast and the weather of New Zealand closer than those of my own community.

I can tell you how many pallets of elbow macaroni fit in a truck and how long a load of cream can sit in a parking lot on a hot summer day.

I feel prepared for breastfeeding because over the last three years I've read every report possible about the milk production of cows.

I've traveled to at least 14 different states. During these travels, I got to ride on a private jet and a sugar beet harvesting truck, among other modes of conveyance.

Just to name a few items, over the past eight years I bought vinegar, wine, honey, cocoa powder, chocolate, molasses, polyols, HVP, TVP, soy protein isolate, starch, evaporated cane juice, cheese, milk, cream, aspartame, acesulfame potassium, sugar, dextrose, corn syrup, and maltodextrin.

I can talk your ear off about the benefits and safety of GMO crops and conventional agriculture. 

I spent one week working the night shift (4 PM to 2:30 AM) in a warehouse in Ohio, checking that jars of peanut butter were properly sealed.  I have never appreciated a college education more.

I got to eat at some (all?) of the finest steakhouses Omaha has to offer, on someone else's dime.

I wept when Imperial's sugar plant blew up from a dust explosion on February 7, 2008 and when ConAgra's plant in Garner, NC exploded in May 2009 from a natural gas leak.  No one should have to die at work.

I sat next to a member of the 1994 & 1995 Nebraska Cornhusker National Championship football teams for three years.

I figured out ways to keep ConAgra's plants running when the Cedar River flooded in 2008, shutting down three major corn syrup manufacturers.

I know the difference between corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup.

I visited the trading floor of the Chicago Board of Trade.

I can't decide if a pasta, ice cream topping, or cocoa plant smells better.  They all win over a wet corn milling or sugar processing plant.

I saw a dog at a dairy farm that knew how to open a door handle, hold the door open while his fellow dog walked through, and then follow along behind.  Oh, and there were some cows there, too.

I know to make sure that the driver has enough legal hours remaining in the day and that the trailer is properly sealed when I desperately need a truck to arrive at a certain time.

I've bought more alcohol than everyone I know combined.

I took great pride when I won the office bet regarding how many million pounds of bean stocks would be reported on a USDA report.

I sold pasta to the prison systems and then took complaint calls about how the prisoners that worked in the kitchen didn't like to open 4 bags that weighed 5 LBS each in every case. Could we try for 2 bags that weighed 10 LBS each next time? "No."

For five years, I had every woman's dream job - buying chocolate. 

I worked at three of the most beautiful campuses I've ever seen.

Through all this, I loved to make the food you love. Thanks for the memories, ConAgra Foods, AIPC, and Cargill.

Summer 2004: Cargill, Incorporated, Wayzata, MN

June 13, 2005 - April 17, 2007: American Italian Pasta Company, Kansas City, MO

April 23, 2007- May 1, 2015: ConAgra Foods, Omaha, NE

Best view from a cubicle ever.