Happy Halloween!

Photo Credit Casey of missfreddy.com

Ava's Story (aka The Fast and the Furious)

Note: This post contains a description of childbirth and some pictures that are mildly graphic in nature.  Read at your own risk.

I can't believe she's already almost two months old.  I've started writing this post a couple of times but haven't had time to finish it until now.  I want to capture my memories before they start to fade.

It started the same as Sarah's - my water broke.  After that, the similarities end.  At about 12:30 AM on January 31, I woke up and felt a little pop, which I was pretty sure was my water breaking but I thought might not be the case.  I went to the bathroom and went back to bed.  I started a contraction timer on my phone and didn't really believe it when it was registering less than 5 minutes right away.  The contractions weren't painful yet, so I just kept playing on my phone.  At 1:10 or so, the contractions started to get more painful, so I went to the bathroom and had the big "gush" that confirmed my water had indeed broken.  Contractions were so painful at that point that it took me awhile to get back to the bedroom (about 8 feet away) to my phone to call the answering service of the clinic.  The midwife called me back right away and told me to go ahead and come in to the hospital.  

Of course, that night Sarah had a bad cold and cough and we were anticipating her needing to come in bed with me, so Matthew was sleeping downstairs.  I didn't want to wake up Sarah by calling out for him, and his phone was silent (I did try calling it).  My contractions were coming very close together, lasting a long time, and I wasn't getting a break from the pain in between them at all, so it took me several more minutes before I could make it downstairs.  I burst in the room, said, "Matthew, I'm in labor," and collapsed on the bed.  He called his mom to stay with Sarah and finished packing a few things (I at least had started packing a bag this time), while I screamed in pain on the bed downstairs.

Joan arrived and Matthew asked me how I wanted to get to the car.  Neither of us were sure I was going to make it up the seven steps and out the door.  I took a break halfway up the staircase but then rushed to the car.  Fortunately the hospital is only five minutes away.

I told Matthew that he was going to have to get a wheelchair for me, so he parked at the curb and then rushed inside.  He ended up having to go all the way up to maternity.  He said they asked him why he needed one, probably thinking that he was a standard worried husband overreacting, but he convinced them there was no way I could walk in by myself.  The nurse, Megan, who ended up being assigned to us, brought out a wheelchair for me while Matthew parked the car.

When we got up to the room, they asked me if I wanted to change in to a gown and I declined right away for some reason.  I thought that I would be able to get an epidural and then things would calm down.  So they just stripped off my pants and left my tank top on.  The midwife, Kallin, had met us at the room.  Matthew went to get me some water while Kallin checked me.  She got a strange look on her face.  I thought she was going to say that I was at a 1 or a 2, but she said, "So you're complete..."  My immediate response was, "So no epidural?"  I had an instant of pure panic.  I hadn't been set on an epidural leading up to the birth but with the pain so excruciating and no relief between contractions, I really wanted one.  Kallin said we could try for an epidural, but she didn't think it would kick in by the time I needed to deliver and I knew I couldn't hold still for one anyway as when I wasn't writhing in pain, I was shaking uncontrollably.  I asked about nitrous oxide (laughing gas), because I'd heard that it helps to take the edge off, so they got that set up right away.  

Kallin gave me the go ahead to start pushing, but I wasn't ready.  I had wanted to "labor down" or let the contractions continue to move the baby once I was fully dilated and I was also positive for Group B Strep, a bacterial infection that had no risk to me (up to 20% of the population is positive at any time and never knows it) but could be passed to the baby during delivery.  Standard treatment is two doses of antibiotics through an IV four hours apart during labor.  I knew I probably wasn't going to get them both, but thought that getting at least one dose would be best.  Honestly, I just wasn't mentally prepared to start pushing so quickly, beyond these two reasons I was telling myself.

The next hour or so involved me lying sideways on the bed, screaming in to the nitrous oxide mask.  I didn't know the door to my room was open, but Matthew told me later that I was probably scaring all of the first time moms that were there that night.  I'm a very quiet person normally, but I was making no attempt to control my screams.  I don't think the nitrous oxide did anything for the pain at all, but Matthew said it helped him because at least the mask stifled the screams a little.  Matthew also said later that he should have set up a Twitter feed called "Things My Wife Says in Labor" because apparently I ranged from pathetic to just plain ridiculous.  I know I kept saying that I wasn't ready, I thought I was supposed to get a break between contractions, and I was VERY angry with him for not handling this one because I had already delivered a baby.  Overall, I just didn't feel strong and in control like I had with Sarah.

At one point, Megan said to Kallin, "Do you hear that?"  She was asking about the baby's heartbeat on the monitor.  Kallin told me it was skipping a beat every once in a while, but should clear up.  I just looked at her and said, "I don't understand what you're saying."  She said it's something they were going to keep an eye on, but should clear up after delivery and didn't indicate any immediate risk.

Finally, Kallin and Megan convinced me to start pushing.  I did a few halfhearted pushes first, trying to breathe through each contraction rather than really bear down.  I'd heard that open mouth pushing is gentler to the woman's body, so I tried that first.  I don't think I could get enough force, though, without bearing down.  Matthew assured me that I had recovered well with conventional pushing from Sarah and I could do it again, and Kallin suggested one open mouth and one bear down with each contraction, so I switched to that.  Even though I knew the nitrous oxide wasn't alleviating my pain, I was still clutching the mask like a life preserver.  Matthew finally took it away from me so that I could bear down with more force.

I was having difficulty feeling like I was making progress on my back - I wasn't in stirrups or anything, just lying flat, so Megan told me to roll over to my hands and knees.  At this point I couldn't think clearly at all, so I just was taking suggestions.  I rolled to my side for one contraction, then on to my hands and knees.  They raised the head of the bed and dropped the bottom half away completely, and I was perched so I could lean on to my forearms.  I couldn't see anyone except Matthew at this point and for some reason I thought both Kallin and Megan had gone across the room so I asked if anyone was there to catch the baby.  They assured me they were right there.  I pushed just a few times - no more than three, and she came out!  She had a total look of surprise on her face that matched my own.  I was surprised she had come so fast, surprised she was a girl, and surprised at how chubby she looked.  I had gained almost exactly the same amount of weight with both pregnancies so was expecting a similar size baby, but this one was almost two pounds heavier!

Somehow they got me rolled back over to my back while our new baby was still attached to the cord, which was still inside of me.  They laid her on my chest and offered to let me cut the cord.  I declined.  I delivered the placenta right away, something I didn't consciously do with Sarah.  Kallin said I had a very small tear that needed stitches because it was bleeding, so she gave me a local anesthetic and took care of that.  She showed us the placenta when she was done, which was kind of cool.  Then we got an hour alone with our little girl.  I know I called my mom during this time.  I had planned on calling my parents when I went in to labor, but there just hadn't been time.  

As crazy as this delivery was, the environment was much calmer than when Sarah was born.  The lights were dim, the only people in the room with us were the midwife and the nurse, and the machines were quiet.  They actually took the monitor off of me when I was on my hands and knees.  This delivery also featured a lot more awareness of blood and gunk.  I'm sure all of it was there with Sarah, but with an epidural and a more conventional delivery (on my back in stirrups), they had been able to clean me up without my noticing.  Ava was not wiped down at all before she was placed on my chest and I could feel blood and urine both during delivery and afterwards.  It was gross.

Recovery, whether due to second baby or lack of medication, was easier this time around.  I only took the strong pain medication once in the hospital and tapered off Tylenol/Motrin regimen a few days after returning home.  My iron was low, so I'm on a supplement, but was back to normal values by my 6 week check up.  I was extremely tired the whole time Matthew had off of work, but that's to be expected. 

So, overall, though I had hoped for the type of delivery you see on the birthing class videos - labor at home, walk around the block, gentle breathing, epidural, smiles all the way through - I can't imagine a better way for Ava to have been born.  Both of my experiences of giving birth were marvelous.  We were extremely impressed with the nurse and midwife that night and happy for the decision we made when we moved to Colorado while I was pregnant to go this route.  The hospital staff was incredible.  I felt I had a lot of options to blend conventional methods such as pain control and availability to modern technology while incorporating some alternative ideas like laboring down, open mouth pushing, and different delivery positions by going with a midwife group of providers.

It took us 28 hours to name Ava.  Her heart was still skipping beats after delivery, so she had an EKG when she was about 10 hours old.  That checked out fine and everything cleared up by the time we left the hospital.

The past two months have been mostly a blur, but we're adjusting well overall.  We love how well Sarah has adapted to our new family environment and I am definitely enjoying the newborn stage more this time around.  Whenever I get frustrated about lack of sleep or her complete reliance on me, I remember that it goes by so quickly and I just enjoy how she loves to be held all the time.

This image captures the chaos of the night.  Luckily everything washed out of that shirt.

8 LBS 4 OZ!

What a chunk!  Recovering from her eventful entrance to the world.

Pregnancy by the Numbers, Part C

• Expected Birth Date: 2/9/17
• Actual Birth Date: 1/31/17
• Weeks Gestation: 38 and 5 days
• Number of Fetuses: 1
• Peak Pounds Gained: 24 - 2 LBS lost in last week
• Heart Rate: Mostly around 130-140, last prenatal check up was 153
• Hours Slept Each Night: 9-10, waking up once or twice for an hour or more, plus a nap once in a while
• Kicks Felt: Hundreds
• Times my water broke "Just like on TV" despite birthing classes saying that never happens: 2 (lifetime)
• Times Matthew thought he was going to deliver a baby in the car: 1
• Dilation upon arriving at hospital: 10 cm
• Epidural: 0 (not by choice)
• Length of Labor: 3.5 hours
• Birth Weight: 8 LBS, 4 oz
• Birth Length: 20.75 inches
• Age before she had a name: 28 hours

Symptoms, Part C

I had plans to get this out last week, but Ava jumped the gun a little and came before I could publish.  I still want to document the symptoms of the last trimester I experienced with her.

• Stronger and more frequent fetal activity - yes
• Achiness - yes
• Heartburn - yes, just went on preventative Zantac every night for the past 5-6 weeks
• Headaches, faintness, dizziness - no
• Nasal congestion and nosebleeds - yes, congestion, but only one nosebleed
• Sensitive gums - no
• Leg cramps - a couple
• Backache - one day
• Swelling of ankles, feet, hands, face - no
• Varicose veins - no
• Itchy abdomen - yes
• Protruding navel - no, but didn't disappear this time either
• Stretch marks - no
• Shortness of breath - yes with activity
• Difficulty sleeping - yes
• Braxton Hicks contractions - a few in the last week of pregnancy
• Clumsiness - no more so than usual
• Nesting syndrome - maybe?  I was more prepared this time with clothes washed, food in the freezer, cradle assembled and bags mostly packed.

Another Girl!

Ava Marjorie Brand was born January 31, 2017 at 4:01 AM.  She surprised us by being almost two pounds and two inches larger than her big sister at 8 LBS, 4 oz and 20.75".

So far, she is enjoying life on the outside.  We are happy to be a family of four (plus dog).

Why We Go

I pack the diaper bag with five different types of snacks and "special" toys.  Toys I bought just for our plane trip, long car rides, and church.  Toys that should be fun and novel, and most importantly, quiet.

I get us both dressed in dresses.  Straighten my hair, put a little mascara and lip gloss on, and thank Matthew for taking care of the diaper change.  We get in the car, I think plenty early, but as I pull out of the driveway, the clock says we are barely on time.  Barely on time if I want to stop along the way for my weekly treat at McDonald's, that is.  We drive across town, 19 miles, 35 minutes.  There is a congregation just down the road from us, but when I visited there initially, it just didn't feel right, so we make the longer trek.

We walk in to a warm greeting, take our bulletin, and as I try to steer us to the sanctuary, she makes a beeline to the nursery.  There are lots of toys there, including a Toy Story cruiser that she loves to ride on.  I know I'm not going to get her off of it without a full blown tantrum, so I figure she can just ride it out to the sanctuary and then back and forth in the pew.  As we're halfway there, I notice it has a lot of buttons.  I press a couple of them, hoping they don't make noise, and I don't hear anything.  I realize I've lost my bulletin in the two minutes since I got it, so stop and ask for another one.

We find a pew right as announcements are starting.  During Joys and Concerns, she presses the buttons on the cruiser, and the batteries magically bring Woody and Buzz Lightyear to life.  I whisper to her to not touch those places and hope the ladies in the pews in front and behind us like kids.  By the second hymn, she has escaped from our pew three times, telling me "Bye Bye" each time.  I let her get a little ways away each time, hoping she'll come back on her own, but ultimately I run up the center aisle and stop her before she reaches the rostrum each time.

She views Children's Time, which this congregation has every week, as a free range opportunity and starts by scooting back and forth on the steps, but ultimately just wants to run through all the pews.  Sometimes she pets the other kids on the head.  She starts screaming so I decide it's time to step out for a diaper change anyway.  A teenage girl tells me she would gladly take her to the nursery and I tell her when we get back I'll consider it.

The diaper change acts as a reset, and she's content to eat snacks and play with her baby and stickers for quite some time.  The little baggie I brought of Cheerios holds up well, until she decides it's more fun to dump them all out.  I watch it happen, thinking that Cheerios aren't hard to clean up, forgetting about the cereal dust at the bottom of the bag.  The pews are upholstered, not just plain wood.  We're almost through the sermon, so I pick them all up and let her dump them out again.

We walk up for communion, and she wants to bring the granola bar she is eating, so I carry that, too, thinking then she won't be jealous when I don't let her have any bread or grape juice.  Back at the pew, she empties out my wallet and starts playing with my keys.  She likes putting a dollar in the offertory plate, but accidentally tips the whole plate out of the usher's hands.  I'm pretty sure we didn't end up stealing anything.

After the service ends, I thank the girl that offered to take her out.  She assures me that her offer stands any time, so I make a mental note that it might be a good idea in another month or so.  I chat with people around me as I clean up the stickers, slinky, doll, bottle, and Cheerio dust as best I can.  We return the cruiser to the nursery and go back for our bag and coat, checking that the pew looks presentable again.  A nice older gentleman tells me where a group of people are meeting for lunch, but I decline yet again, because we're already pushing against nap time.

She falls asleep on the way home.  The 10 minute nap ruins all chance of another for the day, even though we try.

Each week I ask myself if it's worth it.  If I get anything out of the service amidst worrying if she's being too loud, stepping out to the nursery, and helping her play with stickers.  If she even knows what we're doing.  If the loss of two hours sleep from her nap can be recovered.  And each week I decide to go again.  Because I need to meet people in our new town.  Because I want her to see an example of faith.  Because although I don't actually know these people yet, I figure they're like the people I grew up with and they like hearing children in church because that means the congregation is thriving.  Because days blend together sometimes but if I know when Sunday is, I feel more grounded for the rest of the week.  Because it's fun to see her confidence as she explores a new place and gets familiar with it. She reminds me that there's no reason to be afraid when you're surrounded by a community.

Symptoms, Part B

Currently I'm 35 weeks along.  Here is a summary of my second trimester symptoms (weeks 14-28), aka, the trimester that was dominated by moving 500 miles across and 1 mile up.

• Fatigue - more associated with altitude change than pregnancy, I believe
• Decreasing urinary frequency - I think so?
• Decrease in nausea - yes
• Heartburn - started around week 23 and has gotten steadily worse.  Many nights spent on couch/chair and Zantac is a new household staple.
• Headaches - no
• Faintness or dizziness - no
• Nasal congestion and nosebleeds - congestion, yes, thankfully no nosebleeds yet
• Sensitive gums - no
• Increased appetite - not really
• Swelling of feet/ankles/hands/face - no
• Varicose veins - no
• Fetal movement - yes, lots - finally - took until about week 26 to feel regularly thanks to anterior placenta mentioned in previous post
• More energy - moderate
• Achiness in abdomen or back - occasionally, more in pelvis than anywhere
• Leg cramps - a couple
• Skin color changes - no
• Protruding navel - no
• Itchy abdomen - once in a while
• Stretch marks - none so far

Overall, very similar symptoms to what I experienced with Sarah - I remember the heartburn didn't start until much later with her and ability to feel her movements started a lot earlier.