Note: This post contains a description of childbirth. Read at your own discretion. This is more for my memories than anything.
Here was the plan:
Sarah's due date was May 16. Matthew's mom was going to drive out from Denver on May 10 and stay with us until after the arrival. We all were planning on about two weeks. My parents were visiting my sister in Utah for her graduation. They drove, "just in case" they needed to return home sooner than the 11th as they were planning. I was done working on May 1 and had been putting off a lot of the baby preparations while I was still working to minimize my stress level. I got a lot done in the week I had off, but notably, I still hadn't done any of her laundry, the car seat wasn't installed, our bag wasn't packed for the hospital, and I was behind on Thank You cards. I had three separate responsibilities in church on the 10th, and was planning on going to the Garth Brooks concert that evening. I was convinced she was either going to arrive as a result of the concert, or be past her due date.
Here's what actually happened:
Just before 7 PM on Friday, May 8, I was sorting CDs in Sarah's room as Matthew prepared dinner. I felt something weird, so I went to the bathroom to check. I used the restroom and put in a pantiliner. A few minutes later I still felt a little wet. I went out to Matthew and said, "I'm leaking something". After a short discussion, I decided that we should go to the hospital. I was still leaking slightly, and since I had just used the bathroom, I knew it wasn't urine. I wasn't convinced my water broke, but I thought it was a possibility. I had wanted to labor at home for as long as possible, but both our childbirth class and my doctor had been pretty firm in the directions that if water breaks, we had to immediately go to the hospital. We very quickly packed our bag, Matthew crammed some of the dinner he had just finished in to his mouth, and I took an apple to eat in the car. While in the car, I thought I started to feel some contractions, but wasn't totally sure.
When we got to the hospital, Matthew offered to drop me off right in front, but I told him it was ok to park and we could walk in together. As I was getting out of the car, I felt a little leak again, and then as soon as I stood up, there was a huge gush and a puddle surrounded my feet. I looked at Matthew and said, "Now do you believe me?" We were both laughing. I was really drenched, and didn't want to walk all the way in to the building in my wet shorts, so I changed in to some sweat pants in the parking lot. There was no one around, but someone could have seen me from inside the hospital.
By the time we got situated in the room, I was still in no pain from contractions. The nurse said that they have a paper test to see if the water did actually break, but she could tell as soon as she looked at me that it had, so she didn't even do the test. She did have to check for dilation, though. At the doctor's office earlier in the week, he hadn't checked for dilation because he said my cervix had been tilted the wrong direction. When I told the nurse that, she asked Matthew if he wanted to hold my hand while she checked. We both were a little confused, and I think I said, "Do you think he needs to hold my hand?" She recommended it, so that's what we did. She also had me form a fist with my other hand and put it in the small of my back. It was incredibly painful, to the point where I screamed. She apologized and explained that the baby's head was in front of the cervix, so she had to dig in to feel it. I was at 2.5 cm at that point.
The next couple of hours were pretty uneventful. We called our family, made arrangements for Casey to be taken care of that night, and I got my responsibilities at church on Sunday covered as well. They hooked up an IV and external monitors for the baby's heart rate and the contractions. I was having contractions pretty regularly by then, but they were not painful yet. We walked around the floor for awhile, got some snacks, and started playing a game. At 10:30 the nurse came in and said that if I hadn't progressed in the next hour, the doctor said I would need to start Pitocin because there was a risk of infection since my water had broke.
We spent most of the next hour walking and my contractions were getting stronger and more frequent, but alas, after my second extremely painful cervical check, I was barely to 3 cm. It took about an hour for them to get the Pitocin ready and hook me up to the portable monitors. I'm sure they could have started it much sooner, but it seemed to be a pretty busy night and I was one of the lower maintenance patients, it seemed. They asked me if I wanted an epidural at the same time, but I declined because I wanted to make sure I actually needed it. As soon as the Pitocin kicked in, the contractions got super painful and seemed to come right on top of each other. We did one more lap around the floor and at one point I know I told Matthew that we may not be having any more children and he should not ever bring up the subject unless I did first. This period only lasted about half an hour, then we decided it was time to request an epidural.
The anesthesiologist came right away. He asked if we wanted him to go over the risks and benefits of the procedure, but we decided we were well enough informed already. I asked him to not let me see the needle in advance. The Novocaine hurt when he put it in, but everything else was much easier than I had built up in my head. I was convinced I would be able to feel the catheter in my back, but of course I couldn't. My pain went away almost immediately. It was such a surreal feeling. I've had lots of teeth pulled in my life, and it was essentially the same feeling, just in my legs. I could still move my legs a little and could feel when something was touching me. Matthew pinched my ankle to see if it was really working.
By this time it was about 1:30 in the morning. We wanted to try to get some sleep. Matthew laid down on the couch and dozed a little, but I was too excited. At 2:30 the nurse came in to empty my bladder with a catheter. I looked at Matthew and said, "I guess this is what marriage truly is." The nurse also checked my dilation again (so much easier this time) and was surprised that I was at about 7 cm. Matthew laid down again and I tried to rest, but couldn't, so just cruised Pinterest on my phone. At 4:00 the nurse came in, checked me, and said, "It's time to have a baby."
The room got pretty busy after that. There were approximately seven people (plus Matthew and me) in the room from then on. The nurse started instructing me how to push around 4:15. My doctor showed up around 4:30. At some point the medical resident took over the pushing instruction and the nurse held my left leg. My epidural was working perfectly because I could feel the pressure of the contractions, but barely any pain. The numbness in my legs had worn off a little. For most of the contractions, I was indicating when it was time to push, rather than relying on the monitors.
They kept saying that the baby was really low and that I was making good progress. They also asked me if I wanted a mirror. I think it's supposed to be inspirational to be able to see the progress, but I had no desire to watch the birth for myself. At about 5:10 the doctor came in and suggested an episiotomy because he thought that would speed things up a little. I wasn't tired at all then, so I asked him if we could wait a little while. A little after 5:30 the doctor came back and he and the resident and medical student got gowned up, brought over the instrument tray, and adjusted some things in the bed. I think a couple more people came in the room as well. The doctor took over at the foot of the bed. Matthew helped to hold my right leg. At one point, the doctor said, "Reach down and touch your baby", and I said, "I don't want to." Again, I think that was supposed to be inspirational, but I was having none of it. He said I was starting to tear a little and I could feel some burning, so he made a small cut so that he could control the tearing better than just let it happen on its own. Right after that, they had me do a couple of extra pushes and the head came out. It was such a weird feeling. I could hear the doctor teaching the resident and the medical student that it's important to control this part, because one of the worst tears he ever saw was from an elbow. It was probably less than a minute, but it seemed to take forever for them to get the shoulders out and then I felt the rest of the baby and the cord slither out of me. They started cleaning the baby up and I said, "What is it?" and everyone realized that they could tell me it was a girl.
Matthew cut the cord, and after about a minute, they handed her to me and she just laid on my chest. I took one look at her and thought, "Sarah" and I turned to Matthew and said, "What should we name her?" and he said "Sarah", so that was an easy decision. I got to hold her while they stitched me up. I could hear the doctor explaining to the resident and student what he was doing and that it wasn't about speed. I could also feel some tugging and pressure as he worked, but I just ignored all of that and focused on Sarah. Around 6:15 everything was done and cleaned up, and we had the room to ourselves again. The hospital policy is a "Sacred Hour" of skin to skin time immediately after birth. Thanks to the shift change at 7:00, we had closer to an hour and a half before they even came back in to weigh and measure her. I had Matthew go over and hold her hand while she got her first shots. Finally around 9 we left the labor and delivery floor for the postpartum floor where we stayed the rest of the time.
All in all, my experience with childbirth was better than I expected. I felt in control during the process and wasn't scared at all. I was able to just focus on what I needed to do that night. Recovery from childbirth has been a different story, one that I will keep to myself as it involves too many bodily fluids and functions to be shared on the Internet.
