Note:
This post contains a description of childbirth and some pictures that
are mildly graphic in nature. Read at your own risk.
I
can't believe she's already almost two months old. I've started
writing this post a couple of times but haven't had time to finish it
until now. I want to capture my memories before they start to
fade.
It
started the same as Sarah's - my water broke. After that, the
similarities end. At about 12:30 AM on January 31, I woke up
and felt a little pop, which I was pretty sure was my water breaking
but I thought might not be the case. I went to the bathroom and
went back to bed. I started a contraction timer on my phone and
didn't really believe it when it was registering less than 5 minutes
right away. The contractions weren't painful yet, so I just
kept playing on my phone. At 1:10 or so, the contractions
started to get more painful, so I went to the bathroom and had the
big "gush" that confirmed my water had indeed broken.
Contractions were so painful at that point that it took me
awhile to get back to the bedroom (about 8 feet away) to my phone to
call the answering service of the clinic. The midwife called me
back right away and told me to go ahead and come in to the hospital.
Of
course, that night Sarah had a bad cold and cough and we were
anticipating her needing to come in bed with me, so Matthew was
sleeping downstairs. I didn't want to wake up Sarah by calling
out for him, and his phone was silent (I did try calling it). My
contractions were coming very close together, lasting a long time,
and I wasn't getting a break from the pain in between them at all, so
it took me several more minutes before I could make it downstairs. I
burst in the room, said, "Matthew, I'm in labor," and
collapsed on the bed. He called his mom to stay with Sarah and
finished packing a few things (I at least had started packing a bag
this time), while I screamed in pain on the bed downstairs.
Joan
arrived and Matthew asked me how I wanted to get to the car. Neither
of us were sure I was going to make it up the seven steps and out the
door. I took a break halfway up the staircase but then rushed
to the car. Fortunately the hospital is only five minutes away.
I
told Matthew that he was going to have to get a wheelchair for me, so
he parked at the curb and then rushed inside. He ended up
having to go all the way up to maternity. He said they asked
him why he needed one, probably thinking that he was a standard
worried husband overreacting, but he convinced them there was no way
I could walk in by myself. The nurse, Megan, who ended up being
assigned to us, brought out a wheelchair for me while Matthew parked
the car.
When
we got up to the room, they asked me if I wanted to change in to a
gown and I declined right away for some reason. I thought that
I would be able to get an epidural and then things would calm down.
So they just stripped off my pants and left my tank top on.
The midwife, Kallin, had met us at the room. Matthew went
to get me some water while Kallin checked me. She got a strange
look on her face. I thought she was going to say that I was at
a 1 or a 2, but she said, "So you're complete..." My
immediate response was, "So no epidural?" I had an
instant of pure panic. I hadn't been set on an epidural leading
up to the birth but with the pain so excruciating and no relief
between contractions, I really wanted one. Kallin said we could
try for an epidural, but she didn't think it would kick in by the
time I needed to deliver and I knew I couldn't hold still for one
anyway as when I wasn't writhing in pain, I was shaking
uncontrollably. I asked about nitrous oxide (laughing gas),
because I'd heard that it helps to take the edge off, so they got
that set up right away.
Kallin
gave me the go ahead to start pushing, but I wasn't ready. I
had wanted to "labor down" or let the contractions continue
to move the baby once I was fully dilated and I was also positive for
Group B Strep, a bacterial infection that had no risk to me (up to
20% of the population is positive at any time and never knows it) but
could be passed to the baby during delivery. Standard treatment
is two doses of antibiotics through an IV four hours apart during
labor. I knew I probably wasn't going to get them both, but
thought that getting at least one dose would be best. Honestly,
I just wasn't mentally prepared to start pushing so quickly, beyond
these two reasons I was telling myself.
The
next hour or so involved me lying sideways on the bed, screaming in
to the nitrous oxide mask. I didn't know the door to my room
was open, but Matthew told me later that I was probably scaring all
of the first time moms that were there that night. I'm a very
quiet person normally, but I was making no attempt to control my
screams. I don't think the nitrous oxide did anything for the
pain at all, but Matthew said it helped him because at least the mask
stifled the screams a little. Matthew also said later that he
should have set up a Twitter feed called "Things My Wife Says in
Labor" because apparently I ranged from pathetic to just plain
ridiculous. I know I kept saying that I wasn't ready, I thought
I was supposed to get a break between contractions, and I was VERY
angry with him for not handling this one because I had already
delivered a baby. Overall, I just didn't feel strong and in
control like I had with Sarah.
At
one point, Megan said to Kallin, "Do you hear that?" She
was asking about the baby's heartbeat on the monitor. Kallin
told me it was skipping a beat every once in a while, but should
clear up. I just looked at her and said, "I don't
understand what you're saying." She said it's something
they were going to keep an eye on, but should clear up after delivery
and didn't indicate any immediate risk.
Finally,
Kallin and Megan convinced me to start pushing. I did a few
halfhearted pushes first, trying to breathe through each contraction
rather than really bear down. I'd heard that open mouth pushing
is gentler to the woman's body, so I tried that first. I don't
think I could get enough force, though, without bearing down.
Matthew assured me that I had recovered well with conventional
pushing from Sarah and I could do it again, and Kallin suggested one
open mouth and one bear down with each contraction, so I switched to
that. Even though I knew the nitrous oxide wasn't alleviating
my pain, I was still clutching the mask like a life preserver.
Matthew finally took it away from me so that I could bear down
with more force.
I was
having difficulty feeling like I was making progress on my back - I
wasn't in stirrups or anything, just lying flat, so Megan told me to
roll over to my hands and knees. At this point I couldn't think
clearly at all, so I just was taking suggestions. I rolled to
my side for one contraction, then on to my hands and knees. They
raised the head of the bed and dropped the bottom half away
completely, and I was perched so I could lean on to my forearms. I
couldn't see anyone except Matthew at this point and for some reason
I thought both Kallin and Megan had gone across the room so I asked
if anyone was there to catch the baby. They assured me they
were right there. I pushed just a few times - no more than
three, and she came out! She had a total look of surprise on
her face that matched my own. I was surprised she had come so
fast, surprised she was a girl, and surprised at how chubby she
looked. I had gained almost exactly the same amount of weight
with both pregnancies so was expecting a similar size baby, but this
one was almost two pounds heavier!
Somehow
they got me rolled back over to my back while our new baby was still
attached to the cord, which was still inside of me. They laid
her on my chest and offered to let me cut the cord. I declined.
I delivered the placenta right away, something I didn't
consciously do with Sarah. Kallin said I had a very small tear
that needed stitches because it was bleeding, so she gave me a local
anesthetic and took care of that. She showed us the placenta
when she was done, which was kind of cool. Then we got an hour
alone with our little girl. I know I called my mom during this
time. I had planned on calling my parents when I went in to
labor, but there just hadn't been time.
As
crazy as this delivery was, the environment was much calmer than when
Sarah was born. The lights were dim, the only people in the
room with us were the midwife and the nurse, and the machines were
quiet. They actually took the monitor off of me when I was on
my hands and knees. This delivery also featured a lot more
awareness of blood and gunk. I'm sure all of it was there with
Sarah, but with an epidural and a more conventional delivery (on my
back in stirrups), they had been able to clean me up without my
noticing. Ava was not wiped down at all before she was placed
on my chest and I could feel blood and urine both during delivery and
afterwards. It was gross.
Recovery, whether due to second baby or lack of medication, was easier this time around. I only took the strong pain medication once in the hospital and tapered off Tylenol/Motrin regimen a few days after returning home. My iron was low, so I'm on a supplement, but was back to normal values by my 6 week check up. I was extremely tired the whole time Matthew had off of work, but that's to be expected.
So,
overall, though I had hoped for the type of delivery you see on the
birthing class videos - labor at home, walk around the block, gentle
breathing, epidural, smiles all the way through - I can't imagine a
better way for Ava to have been born. Both of my experiences of
giving birth were marvelous. We were extremely impressed with
the nurse and midwife that night and happy for the decision we made
when we moved to Colorado while I was pregnant to go this route. The
hospital staff was incredible. I felt I had a lot of options to
blend conventional methods such as pain control and availability to
modern technology while incorporating some alternative ideas like
laboring down, open mouth pushing, and different delivery positions
by going with a midwife group of providers.
It
took us 28 hours to name Ava. Her heart was still skipping
beats after delivery, so she had an EKG when she was about 10 hours
old. That checked out fine and everything cleared up by the
time we left the hospital.
The
past two months have been mostly a blur, but we're adjusting well
overall. We love how well Sarah has adapted to our new family
environment and I am definitely enjoying the newborn stage more this
time around. Whenever I get frustrated about lack of sleep or
her complete reliance on me, I remember that it goes by so quickly
and I just enjoy how she loves to be held all the time.
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| This image captures the chaos of the night. Luckily everything washed out of that shirt. |
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| 8 LBS 4 OZ! |
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| What a chunk! Recovering from her eventful entrance to the world. |
